SPORT: Pre-season Training – It’s not all that different to flying!

"If God had really intended men to fly, he'd have made it easier to get to the airport."

George Winters

It’s that time of year again – the commencement of pre-season training for many GAA clubs the length and breadth of the country. The turkey has been polished off, the mince pies devoured, the sherry trifle with ice-cream and warm custard now but a distant memory and the bottles of beer finally put to one side – well for some anyway.

For me, pre-season is just like getting ready for a flight, and just like flying there are a number of challenges that need to be overcome. The questions that are posed by family, friends or loved ones in the lead up to take-off bare an uncanny resemblance to those that should be posed in the lead up to the first night back on field.

It is no secret that GAA players hate pre-season training. It scares the living daylights out of the majority. They know that in the first few weeks the only time they will see a ball of any shape or size is when one of them is sent to the equipment room in search of an extra bib or some extra cones. Its rep after rep after rep of the same run with the odd variation thrown in to mix it up. There will be jumping jacks, squats, push-ups and sit-ups. Bodies are going to ache for days. It will rain, it will snow, there will be heavy wind and the ground will go from being rock solid in places to soft and sticky in a matter of meters. The floodlight (or car lights depending) will work some nights and other nights your imagination will be required as you plough through a secondary field for a few weeks. 

Buckle in as I bring you through the first night back after the winter break.

1.       Preparation:

After a full day of drinking water you leave work/college with a small bit of a pep in your step but also with a very full bladder. It’s been ages since you took on so much water but you have been told year after year that the intake of water is vital. Of course you should have been doing this the last few days/weeks but you have decided to leave it until today to start gulping down the H2O.

Just like checking your emails to make sure of your boarding time you check the club text a number of times to make sure that you won’t be late on the first night. I still have no idea how people get it wrong but there will always be one who will not be able to read the following ‘PHYSICAL TRAINING will commence at 7.30pm SHARP on the field’ and run out onto the field at 8pm, boots unlaced and tying their shorts as they realise the error of their ways. The “I was milking the cows” trick doesn't really fly if you have never milked a cow in your life.

As you approach the field that night you wonder if those few games of 5 a side soccer over the winter have paid off and not forgetting that one night you got a trial run at the new local gym and used the benches for some upper body work. That surely counts for something right? Right? On deeper considerations you know it hasn't. Fear encapsulates you!

Packing the bag is a minefield – especially if Mom is not involved. You should ensure that you have two of everything in the bag as you have no idea what you will be coming up against conditions wise. The passport is undoubtedly your football boots – you can rob a pair of socks, togs and a tee shirt off anyone in the dressing but just like forgetting the passport – forgetting the boots is a big no-no. It is probably easier to tell your girlfriend that you forgot the passports pre sun holiday than it is to tell your coach that you can’t train as you forgot your boots!!

2.       Check-In:

The first night is full of the same old clichés being bandied about the dressing room when you walk in….”Fair play to you Gerry, you’re giving it one more year”, “White boots, who do you think YOU are? They won’t be white for long out there”, “Did your girlfriend buy that top for you” and “Tights, you've changed boy”. It all adds to the atmosphere at the first night of training. An atmosphere that is filled with anxiety and worry about what the next 90 minutes will bring. 

There is, however, an amazing sense of togetherness on that first night back which is heavily vested in that fact that the longer we all stay in the dressing room the warmer we all will be. It’s probably the only time of year that everyone is willing to watch and wait for the renowned slow coach to finish putting on the white socks over the GAA socks and the tape around the wrists. For today we wait for him as a unit as a team as one………..for the rest of the year we tease and mock him incessantly.  

Then there are the younger lads. Ah yes - Some of these boys (they will have to earn the title of ‘lad’ as the year progresses) look so nervous. First time flyers as such. Some would have got a taste of the action last year when we short one or two faces due to a local wedding, but there will be a few new faces here for the first time. I remember my first time flying, it was nerve jangling and exciting all rolled into one. It is fantastic to see these new faces though – well that is until you realise that they are better than you and that #15 jersey that you had for 10 years is now under threat. 

3.       Departure Lounge and Pre-Flight Instructions:

Finally, one of the new selectors will come in and just give a look at one or two of the older lads before roaring on what seems like an airport style tannoy system– “COME ON BOYS - ITS GONE WELL PAST 7.30!!” It’s the final call! That walk to the field is daunting. You know there will be cones there, that’s a given. The questions is – how far apart will they be? You notice that odd new snood, the lad who got a new pair of white Nike boots for Christmas, the lad that forgot his training top and the one or two younger lads who are wearing white/light coloured tops. Mammy won’t be pleased with them when they go home – they’ll learn with experience.

The funniest is the lad who works in a warm office from 9 to 5 every day. He reminds me of that poor man with his girlfriend in the departure lounge who has to wear three jumpers and 2 coats on his way to the Algarve all because his baggage was 2kg over the limit. Just like that man, they won’t be on for long!

A quick greeting with the coach at the gate which we all hope only last a few seconds as it is a chilly -5C in the shade with a north to north westerly wind from the heart of Scandanavia blowing right down the field. The warm up is quick and snappy. As the year goes on there will usually only be one or two sets of water bottles out at the start of training. Tonight there are 5. In fact there is usually extra people from the locality drafted in to assist with the carting of water to the lads for this session. We can take comfort in this as we know that they know that we will need it!

As the warm up concludes with a quick 50meter jog out and back one smart ass shouts from the back “That was a tough session”. It gets a ripple of laughter, some of the younger lads love it but the scary thing is that when you look around and see the agony on some of the older lads’ faces you know that there is a touch of honesty about the little gag. If only management had done their job properly and shown us where the Exit doors were!

4.       Take-Off:

A quick look around and for the first time I really take it all in – It’s the middle of January, its freezing, the pitch is like my brother just ploughed it a few weeks ago and forgot to go back to it, the shrill blast of the coaches whistle send shivers from the ear drums right down to the baby toe, there is not a football in sight, there are at least 50 cones dotted around the field, someone inevitably forgot to turn on the showers before coming out but...........I can honestly say is that there is no place in this earth right now that I would rather be – make sure you are strapped in as the 2015 GAA season is just about to take off.