OFFICE: Not your normal working afternoon

"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life."

Over the festive period I came across a movie called New Year’s Eve. One of plots ‘cute little stories’ was that of Ashton Kutcher and the talented Leah Michelle (leading lady from Glee). They got stuck in an elevator on New Years. That left then in the uncomfortable position whereby they were depending on people outside putting 2+2 together and getting 4 to rescue them. It got me thinking of that one time when I got stuck in a bathroom while at work…..Let me explain.

Entertaining stories in your standard office environment are usually few and far between. For most, hours, days and weeks will pass where very little will happen in the office that will get the pulse racing. You’ll come in, have a cuppa tea, work for a while, have more tea, then work until lunch, have a quick cuppa to wash it down, do a little more work before heading home. Nothing wrong with it of course, after all, it is what we signed up to.

I remember one afternoon breaking this cycle. I was working with a colleague at client site in Cork. We were provided with the use of a portakabin which itself was located in a large abandoned warehouse. The warehouse was used for storing old construction equipment which was no longer being used because the property bubble had burst. Everything was going according to plan as I headed towards the bathroom shortly after lunch. Like any other normal and well-mannered individual I locked the doors behind me before going about my business. This is where the story starts – the bloody door would not re-open no matter how hard I tried. Lightbulb moment and I recall the client mentioning something about one of the two doors being dodgy in the bathroom when we met him that morning! Bit late for that now. 

At training the week we were told how to solve problems by thinking outside the box. "You have to be creative and ask yourself is there another way around a particular problem" was quoted a number of times by the presenter. Somehow, I don't think he was thinking about a situation like this!

I had let my phone at my desk so making a call to my colleague was out of the question. There was a little window in the bathroom but that faced out into an empty yard which looked desolate and in need of a good weed killer. Could I fit out the window? No chance, that hot chicken roll at lunch made sure of that. Roaring was not going to work as it was a bathroom in the far off side of the aforementioned massive abandoned warehouse. Kicking down the door? I thought about it but I was a professional working on a clients site – I couldn't do that!! Also got to remember that I am not the strongest of individual and even if I decided to kick it down I probably wouldn't be able to.

While stuck in the bathroom I learned a good deal about myself;

• Firstly, while I had managed to leave my phone on the desk I did manage to bring a pocket calculator to the bathroom with me. Typical bloody accountant. Of course I started to play with it and see what words I could make by typing in digits and then turning the calculator upside down. That bit of fun lasted a whole 5 minutes. 
• Secondly, I started to think about how I would survive in here for a night if worse comes to worst. My food options were a bar of Dove soap – which I was happy with rather than those cheaper options and some toothpaste which I assume was used by an employee at some stage. To be honest it wasn't a bad selection if it got to that. I opted to wait a small bit longer before tucking in. 
• Finally, I thought about how I would get a message to the outside world in these circumstances. How would I let my parents know that I was alright? How would I tell the GAA club that I’d be missing training? What about the lads I was renting with – it was Wednesday wasn't it, damn it was my night to cook, and they would be pissed.

The minutes passed and still no sound or movement on the outside. A crow did perch about 20 meters from the window but my attempts to cajole him were to no avail as he just flew off, probably to tell his crow buddies that there was some ape stuck in the bathroom. Bloody crow! Then again, even if I managed to 'cajole' him whats in gods name would I have done then?? I was under so much pressure now that I had the tie off. It wasn't quite the time to put it around my head in Tarzan style just yet though. Roaring wasn't helping – I was actually getting hoarse. I suddenly felt my throat become a little dry, soon I would need water. It was a first world problem I was having, a tap alongside me that I didn't dare drink from for fear of where it was coming from!

I now wish I had read that book, 127 hours, whereby an individual spends ages stuck down a chasm in Utah after going out for a run in the outback. He was basically stuck between a rock and a hard place and managed to survive, albeit by eventually cutting off his hand. I was starting to see similarities. I'm sure there would have been some good survival tips in that. 

Just as I was cutting the soap up into smaller little parts that I was going to ration and eat I heard what could only be described as life-saving footsteps. Someone was out there looking for me. HOORAY! I got up off my perch, ran to the door and with whatever ounce of strength I had left in my body roared my head off while kicking and punching the door. My colleague heard it and approached the door cautiously. She said something which to me sounded like blubber. She returned with two men shortly after who used a crowbar to free me. FREEDOM…….Is this how Mandela felt I wondered? I embraced the three of them before falling to my knees and kissed the ground. Emotions was running high as you could imagine! 

After 27 of the longest minutes of my life it felt as if there should have been a full fanfare on the other side but no, nothing, no ambulance with waiting drip for my dehydration, no TV crews with questions about my ordeal and no friends or family. The two men, my heroes, had already gone back to work. It was just my colleague asking if I was okay and that my manager was coming out to review the work shortly and was in bad form. Maybe the toilet wasn't so bad after all.